Professional avenging bitch goddess, lifestyle feminist barbie doll/cartoon wet dream. Ex-Glam Rock groupie happily married to an Elvish prince, living a life of decadence. glamour and quiet domesticity in an old house in an old city on the East Coast.
This is no place for minors.
Because occasionally I’m like “Damn that lady’s hot” and I just feel like because I’m in a straight passing relationship I’m somehow facilitating the idea that bisexual women exist for men’s enjoyment even though I’m not a woman or bisexual and my relationship isn’t straight.
They never think that a queer woman, even if she likes threeways, might have her own taste in women, taste that differs from their own.
I’ve had plenty of men pursue queer ol’ me imagining sexy girl on girl action, only to be SHOCKED that I’m not into the women they’re into,
They think it’s a performance, and not an actual sex act.
So, dudes, even if I were single, and not with the most awesome guy in the world, you being turned on by my history with women is not progressive, it’s not interesting to me, and you probably aren’t turned on by the same ladies I am.
I love Janis Joplin. No one seems to remember how damn important she is to rock n’ roll anymore. That woman, not just played rock n’ roll, but embodied rock n’ roll… and she was ugly as sin, face like a pie that’d been sat on, but she could SING. Listen to Pearl, and try to insist that we should regard beauty as important in female recording artists… also despite not even being a little bit attractive… Janis Joplin looked damn cool, and was thoroughly aesthetically pleasing.
Well, at my first GSA was at my first highschool, an all girls school called “stoneleigh burnham” I was the only gay student, and at that time I only identified as bisexual… so they only had half a gay person… (I had admittedly totally chosen an all girls school in the hopes of getting laid, so I was particularly resentful)
mairijeaan asked: I have read several posts of you answering questions, and they were so interesting and passionate that they made me want to ask a question...if I can think of one...aha! What is your opinion on people, specifically young girls, who pretend to be bisexual for rebellious purposes and how they affect the rest of the world's view on homosexuality/bisexuality? I was just curious if you had a different reaction to the "attention seekers" such as Katy Perry, and if their age changes your reaction. I am seemingly surrounded by this sort of teenager, and it makes it very difficult for me to talk to people about being bisexual when they have nothing against gay people, but don't believe bisexuality exists because of people who behave this way (especially in Texas, as opposed to up North). Sorry for the rambling, and I'll probably be back with more questions soon enough--I LOVE your blog :)
Well, I find it deeply distressing how if effects A: Cultural perceptions of bisexuals B: The actual bisexual and lesbian girls. I mean having a crush on your straight friend is already hard enough at that age (and you inevitably will have a crush on your straight friend at that age), but when she tells you she’s bisexual, well that’s just kicking a girl when she’s down. Not to mention how if effects the actual LGBT kids ability to find their already difficult to find community.
The socially responsible way to freak out your parents is to be a hardcore kickass ally who actively pursues equal rights for LGBT people.
feistyfeminist asked: I see your point in your post where you compare faking bisexuality for fashion (via that horrible Katy Perry song) to black face. I wanted to get your opinion on a similar topic: when seemingly straight girls make out in bars while drunk. I recently argued with someone on this topic and I took the side that everyone should be allowed to experiment and we should not shame these girls while my friend thought this behavior was "attention whoring" and bad for homosexuals. Are you either of these sides or have a completely different opinion? Thanks!
Well, I believe that everyone should be allowed to experiment, so if the girls are doing it for their own personal enjoyment (and not leading anyone on, so no making out with dykes/bi chicks without explaining the situation) then fine, that’s just dandy. However, if they’re doing it solely for male attention, then they need to knock it the fuck off, not because it’s attention seeking, attention seeking is fine in my book, however using my sexuality as an attention ploy is not. If you want attention take your top off, that’s a fine way to get the attention you crave without making a mockery of my sexual orientation (and no, I’m not kidding, I fully endorse attention seeking behavior if it doesn’t have a detrimental effect on social justice, I take my top off to get attention all the damned time). I’m just sick and tired of my femme/femme relationship being mistaken for an open invitation to men to come hit on us… when it should be an obvious signal that “no, really, I’m with someone… and I only like vagina”
However, quick aside on the term “attention whoring” has anyone else noticed this term and how it’s applied to women? I mean sometimes it’s used as a synonym for “drama queen” but all too often it’s used to describe women who are “too slutty” “too vocal” or “too opinionated” in other words it’s used to repress the sexualities and silence the voices of women. I’ll write more on that later.
Earlier today I was reading a series of posts about Katy Perry’s song “I kissed a girl” and some people were commenting about how the song trivializes homosexuality, and people were responding with “well, she was just having some fun” and here’s the thing… fashionable bisexuality? It’s the sexual equivalent of blackface.
For those of you who don’t know, black face is/was a type of entertainment where a white performer would paint their face black with exaggerated stereotypically African features and perform humorous acts based in monstrously offensive racial stereotypes. Yes, it’s light hearted, it’s only a bit of fun, and that’s exactly the motherfucking problem, you’re making yourselves into demeaning trivializing caricatures of an oppressed minority. ”Don’t take it seriously, we’re only joking around” people reply, and how can we not take offense at you having “a bit of fun” with unchanging portions of our basic identity? Identities we’re still fighting for the right to have.
I know it’s not nice to have to think about, but think about it for a second. What does it mean when a privileged person borrows the identity of an oppressed minority for “a bit of fun”?